Death and Rebirth

It is essential to undergo cycles of death and rebirth to keep our selves from crystallizing, or "becoming enlightened." This enlightenment is a self-imposed limitation of a human being’s spiritual ego. Unconsciously, we hold on to our past reincarnations, for they represent the extraordinary capacity in a human being to fantasize what he was. In a sense, they are the big lie that we retreat into when we fail on the level of our ordinary existence. It is like the man who cannot pay the rent on his small apartment, telling you about the big house he used to have. We avoid seeing the poverty of our present existence by re-treating into the illusions of the past. Many people pursuing a spiritual life indulge in this kind of projection when they utilize astrology, palmistry, numerology, and other methods for trying to determine their spiritual path. It is not the approach that is at fault, as these methods are only instruments. It is the person’s ability to twist them into distorted patterns, so that they glamorize things of the past to justify their inability to face the responsibility of the moment. All religion, philosophy, or any type of study is only a vehicle for our energy. It is our capacity to be strongly critical with ourselves that allows us to keep the vehicle in a condition that can serve us, and not to use it to keep us from growing spiritually. A weak person is usually surrounded by other people who are weak. This builds a wall of illusion that is impossible to break through. We must begin to have a wish within us that transcends the limitation of any teacher or teaching, so that we are able to remain hungry and have an appetite that exceeds the moment. The ability to grow depends on the capacity to create a void that can attract an outside energy. It is the nature of people to keep themselves attached while complaining about the inadequacy of a situation, like a man living with a woman he does not like. His negatively eats up all of his energy. If he did not express himself in this way, the situation would separate naturally. It is our unnecessary suffering that keeps us bound to this endless chain of karma. One must restrain oneself from expressing energy that in no way fulfills the capacity for growth. This requires us to raise the level of energy above the situation and then allow the situation to disappear. Energy rising continually to a higher plane must attract an outside force. Each time we raise our consciousness through our will, it is like creating a ladder that can be used to climb to any height. If there is no immediate situation to transcend, it can be created through the capacity of a human being to suffer consciously; that is, he can remove something from his ordinary life in order to create a void, which allows higher energy to enter him and raise the level of his situation. It is like removing less productive plants from a garden to allow more profitable ones to grow. There is no human being who does not have friends that consume great energy and pro- duce almost nothing. We justify these situations by feeling that we are being generous. It is really that we are unconscious of the price that these parasitic relationships cause us. If we have a real sense of charity, we give what we can afford gratefully. But unconscious giving takes what we can’t afford to lose. Very successful people are almost cold in their detachment from the people around them. Their energy is of such vitality that it cannot support any parasitic relationships. There is an old saying, "You become what you eat." If we eat food that exists on the physical level and receive our nourishment from that, how can we be other than a physical being? If we eat from higher levels, then we have a chance to become spiritual. It is not different from a man looking up at a statue of Jesus Christ or Buddha and thinking how long it might take to attain that level. Looking never brings attainment. it is only by reaching into the flesh, blood, and energies of these supreme beings that allows a person to take from them and to leave behind the lesser qualities of himself. What we unconsciously relate to becomes the choice of each day. To be eaten and used is karma; to eat and evolve is consciousness. As my spiritual world expands, I am dependent upon more and more people to support my growth. I took four people with me to India on my last trip in September of 1972, to balance and support the experience. The exhaustion that hundreds of people who were close to me reported upon my return was the obvious proof that a vast amount of energy was needed by my chemistry to obtain the resulting transformation and enlightenment. It is not that I used so many people, so much as that, due to planetary conditions, there was a rendering of energy from all people. My experience was in harmony with this rendering, so that the energy that was extracted from them could be used consciously by me. In return, I could serve them by having their energy connect to my conscious experience, instead of being absorbed by the void that supports the cosmos. The gratitude that I felt in being able to use this energy was produced by my realization that I was being allowed to reach within the creative flow only through the grace of God. To be grateful to the people involved is also essential, as only through love and appreciation can this energy be woven into a conscious fabric. It is the subtlety with which this creative force is absorbed that determines whether it becomes part of the rebirth process. To take it into the mind is to only build something that crystallizes and restricts further growth. Receiving it with love and gratitude allows it to become part of the evolving and changing energy that can be dissolved again by the addition of more love and gratitude. It is like taking a tie to the dry cleaners. If you know what made the stain, you can remove it easily because there is always a solvent for a given stain. If we build with love and gratitude, it is possible to bring these energies back into our consciousness and produce further growth with- out a break in the pattern. It becomes a continuous loving growth, for it represents the qualities of a human being who is functioning through a higher will. Recently, when I went to Indiana to teach, the process of growth within me magnetized students of mine whom I deeply love and respect, because there was in my growth that which they deeply needed for their own evolvement. It is only in these higher areas of creativity that we call forth in other human beings the sympathetic, magnetic attraction of an inner creative process. The obvious deep inner response that this process brings forth helps me to undergo the incredible suffering that this type of growth requires. The people involved who, consciously and unconsciously, contribute toward the process reflect God and creation in a tangible way that no human being can see in himself. I exist in the depth that is fed to me by those who share this spiritual experience with me. With one of my students, Buford Pippin, who had just come back from Paris, I found a sense of heaviness. I attributed it to his need for inner nourishment. He was exhausted by the tremendous responsibility of heading our European ashrams. When I mentioned this to him, he agreed. It was while we were having breakfast on the second day of his return that I could hear my mind trying to attribute his condition to his "limited" capacity. I tried to surrender the thought and allow the situation to reveal itself. But it wasn’t easy. The kind of ping-pong that occurs in our mind, feeling one thing and then an- other, going up and back, is a sign of the end of a pattern. Our ability to not blame other people allows us to emerge from the pattern on a higher level. I was sitting with Buford playing both sides within myself when suddenly it seemed as though someone had taken an acetylene torch and gone around the outside of my stomach. I felt this ring of fire for fifteen minutes, after which I had an extraordinary sensation that I could only associate with the outflow that a woman experiences after giving birth. It was as if the whole by-product of the unassimilated chemistries suddenly were released in me. It left me very weak, but grateful, as I consciously understood that rather than being a hindrance to me, Buford had helped me finish off this particular phase of my work. A few weeks before, another student of mine named Danny Cook, who is a teacher in Dallas, stayed with me for several days. He is physically a very strong person who has a great deal of goodness in him. He does not know how to close against anything or anybody. We were working together when suddenly the room turned totally black in such depth that one could almost pick it up in one’s hand, like snow. In a minute or so, a beam of cobalt light appeared from the upper right-hand corner and grew in size as it came across this black all. I felt the energy from this blue light coming into the passage between my temples. It not only had energy, but also nourishment and intelligence. I realized that this was a consciousness that I could reach for at will. I had heard many people discussing the blue world and have always seen the paintings of the Buddha with this deep and vivid blue, but I never understood it as a tangible force that could be used consciously. The experience occurred two weeks ago. This week, I am cautiously opening to this new energy so that it can flow within the psychic muscles between my temples. I am certainly in no rush to understand it. I am not even sure it requires any understanding. I feel only gratitude as I open to this higher flow so that it can become part of my chemistry. I also have a deep understanding that what I have attained was given through God, and through the chemistry of many hundreds of people to whom I am deeply grateful for sharing with me our mutual evolvement. Physical and psychic changes must take place in my chemistry as a by-product of my growth. These changes will occur within my body, but my mind and emotions don’t have to identify with them. I cannot stop my chemistry from paying, but I certainly can have my being in an entirely different place while it is occurring. Having the consciousness to live in different dimensions is to have the ability to allow one dimension to operate while spiritually shifting to a different plane. A child who is suffering from a very painful disease becomes completely unaware of it while watching a circus performance. It is necessary, as we advance further in our spiritual development, to focus on a much higher purpose so that these lesser extraordinary conditions can take place in their own simple way. The fact that they are extraordinary does not necessitate our being involved with them. It is our ability to relate to a higher level that allows them to become simple, as nature has the amazing capacity to produce what is demanded of it if we do not interfere. When I was eighteen years old, I was attached to a ship where I taught ROTC navigation. I was very afraid of heights. One day I found myself being lowered in a chair to scrape and paint the side of the ship. Within five minutes, I dropped my brush and scraper and then fell into the water myself. Having come from a home in which every- thing that cost any money at all was valued, my concern for the paint brush and scraper was so extraordinary that I had no sense of fear for myself. My emotional attachment to these things overcame my sense of physical danger. The mind has the capacity to focus on exactly what is wanted. If it is unable to do this, it is only because it has not been housebroken. That we sit and piss in our own soup is not the expression of the limitation of the mind, but our inability to train our instrument for the exact purpose that we want. I have previously watched my chemistry respond to the demand that I put on it. I have watched sugar turn to salt in me because I detached from people that I loved. I have watched steel turn to water as I detached from things that I wanted, but that would have interfered with my development. Everything builds and changes to bring us the truth that we demand within ourselves. The mind has a magnetic capacity that is extraordinary. It can attract exactly what is needed from within a human being to support the energy that will, in turn, produce the situations required for growth. These situations reinforce and change the chemistry again so that we are creating life out of our wish to become a different person. To want to grow spiritually necessitates loving God, or higher creative energy, which develops the need and ability to draw into one’s self the necessary energy and chemistry to allow us to become realized and happy people. I always bless the Shankaracharya of Puri for his simple and deep wisdom. I remember his saying that when I can see around myself happiness, joy and fulfillment, I will understand that I am on the right path. Any person who is not reflecting this, is in no way a positive manifestation of the ultimate condition that I wish to achieve. It is by growing that we either bring somebody else up to the level of our capacity or they fall away. When I was about twenty-seven, I spent several months with the Shain- karacharya of Puri. It was difficult for me to find within myself the right to take from him the extraordinary quality and purity that he had. It was the nourishment that my heart and soul reached for, but my lack of self-esteem made me feel unworthy. I asked this most holy man what I should do. He looked at me for a moment and said, "Truth is always shown as a lotus. This majestic flower floats oil the top of a lake, but if you put your hand beneath the flower and trace the stem, it goes down to the root system which rests at the bottom. The garbage and rot are down there. They are like the matter within people that must be surrendered as they evolve. It falls from them and nourishes the seed which allows the lotus to grow. Truth comes from experiences. It is the ability to take and grow that matters. Not what is, but what can be." We were sitting by ourselves. He had a lady who cooked for him and sang holy songs and a man in the next room who was quite sick. Occasionally someone else would come, or he would go out and give a lecture. I understood that I was there to take what was available, not because of my worthiness but because of my effort. Nobody else was reaching for this remarkable saint’s energy. The second question that I asked him still amazes me in retrospect. It was, "After a certain point is reached, why must a person keep working spiritually?" He looked over his glasses and the moment seemed to span twenty years’ time into the future when the situation to which I referred would become a reality for me. "To keep the wheel turning," he said. It is within the minds of most people to reject anything foreign to them. Several years ago, I was invited to a forum in which there were three men who represented Western mysticism and Christianity. One man in particular became very violent toward the Eastern attachments that were obvious in my thinking. He accused me of having "sold out to the enemy." I consider myself a Western man and certainly an American product. I deeply believe in my country. I have no allegiance to anything else and told him as much. "It is as if I were an apple tree," I said, " and went to India, Japan, and China to get additional fertilizer. These are just sources of nourishment which can feed what I am. They do not change my root system and certainly do not change what I will produce." To not understand what we need, or to understand and not reach for it, is the crime. There is no real difference in people, there is only a difference in approach and technique. If it is possible for nations to allow scientists to move freely from country to country to exchange information and experience, it should certainly be possible for people to explore the content of each other’s culture. It has nothing to do with right or wrong. It is only that there is in all cultures a unique and remarkable energy that is essential for growth. We always take what we think is available. It is to consciously reach into everything that eventually brings a complete flowering. In each race, religion, and culture, the individual is made to conform to the rules of whatever dominates. This makes for unhappiness, as it is forever the nature of a domineering person to make other people do what they believe is best for them, rather than what the others actually want. I have been in many different parts of the world and watched foreigners living in these countries and culture. They always feel the differences and reject them because they are unfamiliar. In order to grow, we must encompass, not reject or accept. Cultures develop because of the diet and pressure of a particular society over a long period of time. Different parts of the brain open and grow based on what is available. It is the inability of man to see the limitation of these projections of life that makes the world such a difficult place for him to live. Taking everything on the same level in no way allows for a human being to face life with tranquility. The changing nature of existence manifests on the earth as the fluctuation of energies, which descend from the cosmos. just as electricity is a series of impulses, which we see as a constant because of our inability to perceive its variations, we are similarly unable to see the changing impulses of creative energy except in the reflection of the pattern of a human being within his environment. It is our inconsistent nature that is the true reflection of how we relate to the patterns of creation. The ocean is almost a perfect picture of these impulses of energy as they come through the cosmos to the earth. If we were to lay out one mile of ocean on the vertical, we would see that the depth is constant, though on the surface it makes a very erratic pattern. If the mile of ocean were forty feet deep, we would see an almost serpent-like picture descend. If we saw this mile of ocean laid out vertically a half-mile deep, it would look like an almost straight line coming down towards us. It is the superficial nature of man to react only to the surface of this vastness of energy. We respond from our tensions to the surface, which reflects only the outer content of the depth. The changing energy requires that we open to the depth that is being brought down upon us. By our inability to do so, we are disturbed and pressed into the tensions of life. A man having a large series of upsetting events take place on a particular day feels that life is against him. He cannot understand that the weight, which he experiences, is only nature’s way of trying to provoke him to go to another level, and thereby grow consciously by exercising his choice. Man usually only reacts to the unknown by becoming violent and confused. Each human being needs to connect with others in order to sustain themselves and grow by taking nourishment. The determining factor of this connection has to do with the ability of the individual to detach himself consciously until he finds someone who fulfills his need. The response to hunger alone allows us to connect on the surface, but it is without the capacity to fulfill an appetite for any length of time. Tensions only have the capacity to satisfy the immediate hunger and then they congest the mechanism, because the energy that comes from the surface is thick and dense. It is only inner energy that can provide a deeper nourishment that allows for growth. Our needs are not only from this life, but also from our deep unconscious, which is trying to take energy and become active. By drawing in only the surface tension, this deep creative capacity that is latent within our unconscious does not receive nourishment and cannot begin to function. Most people are insensitive to the connections that they make in life. They cannot deeply respond to a superficial relationship. They are not even conscious that there is such a thing as a vast unconscious connection between themselves and their conscious mind. The lack of awareness of such a possibility also keeps the tensions that exist in ordinary relationships from being absorbed into the deeper unconscious mind where they can be consumed. One person may be en- meshed in a situation because they only relate to it from the surface. Another can be nourished by the same situation because he opens to a deeper level, which destroys the tensions of the situation within them and converts it into nourishment. There are people who continually succeed under pressure, which destroys most of the others around them. It is only their dynamic inner life that enables them to function. It is rarely the most gifted person who survives, but the person who has the capacity to work under pressure and sustain a level of creativity. The mind has the capacity to draw from the unconscious the energy and natural resources that are within us to meet most outside pressures. This cannot occur instantly, but must e part of a deep need within a human being that can break down the tensions and extract from them the nourishment that brings the mechanism to a more balanced condition. We all have had the experience of going into a room where we knew there was somebody against us. Because of our knowledge we were aware that we must control our temper and be more sensitive to the situation. A man is different from an animal in the sense that he must learn to defeat an enemy. Those who continually fight to achieve this end in their life are rewarded by the development of a sense that warns them when danger occurs. It is life itself that is the teacher, and the more we approach life with sensitivity, the quicker we can learn. It is only a fool who continually resists the obvious. If one were to open a candy store in a poor neighborhood in a spirit of love and generosity, it would not take long for each dollar that was taken in to disappear. The children in a poor neighborhood have the cunning capacity to steal, unless the consciousness of the person they are dealing with is stronger than theirs. It is always the nature of an idealist to think that people will change because of his goodness. The reaction of a human being to any situation only changes by the demand of the situation. People do not become good because they want to be good. They become good because there is no alternative. They realize that being bad is just a limitation that will never allow them to reach the goal that they have set. It is the ability to take things as they are, not as we would like them to be, that is unusual. It takes a deep realist to put his spiritual and physical life in order. The inevitable must be accepted. All other considerations become secondary. They make life palatable, but are not essential. It is a common sight to see an executive of a large corporation react strongly due to someone’s incompetence. This is simply a lack of control. It is a very common experience for people who are hurt to try to strike back. It turns them into exactly what they are reacting against. All too often we find that what we think someone has done to us never happened. After we have tried to retaliate, we discover that we have become the villain and lost a friendship in the process. Also, we have fallen from the level that we were on, having demeaned ourselves because of a supposed injury. A real human being should have the ability to delay any reaction until he completely understands a situation, for it is the length of time that we detach from a situation that enables us to see it objectively. If we allow enough time to pass, it is even possible that no action is necessary, for having absorbed the energy of our emotions, we can then rise above the situation. A fast reaction is the expression of great tension and immaturity. There are, of course, times when a strong move is necessary, but these are few and far between. It is always essential to serve every situation with as much depth and detachment as possible. Quality in a human being should be consistent. It is not a jewel to be taken out for a state occasion. If we are privileged to have a gift, we are also responsible to share it in a way that raises the level of the atmosphere around us. A person growing spiritually or creatively is inspired by the contact with someone who represents a higher level of attainment. It is only possible to grow to a certain point with this type of relationship, how- ever. It is like the food one receives from one’s mother, which is soft and does not create the strength that more solid foods do that must be chewed. Soft nourishment given by a teacher to a student should help the student develop within themselves the spiritual child who can stand on his own feet. A child that continually crawls and asks for predigested food is retarded. Everything in nature contrives to separate the standing and walking child from soft food. It is only through their willfulness to maintain the attachment that some teachers will continue to feed this soft food to their students. Life situations are the diet of a mature man. The connection between a teacher and student at that stage should be one of light counseling and mutual respect. As a person develops, they should have within them the understanding of their spiritual roots. Their efforts should be presented to their teachers and checked, just as a student of architecture would submit drawings to his professor. But the professor only judges the quality and tries to inspire the student to do better work. Once a student graduates from college, he is an apprentice for years, until he can go into business for himself. He is continually corrected until he reaches a level of development that proclaims his professional status. The ability to submit one’s work to judgment and continually profit from criticism is always the reflection of a growing human being. It is after one becomes an independent professional that the creative process is reversed. Then one hires an assistant and extends the learning process by becoming the teacher. Architects also go to conferences, have consultations with other architects, read manuals, etcetera. It is the continued reaching and rein- forcing of their energy that allows them to grow professionally. In spirituality, the person who becomes a teacher reaches to others who are more experienced in the professional atmosphere around him. It is the test of the energy of the person to either encompass what is met in this beginning stage or to be encompassed by the tensions and restrictions that are only the reflection of their own self-esteem. Their eventual detachment from the structure within which they developed, needs the reinforcing not only of other teachers, but the students that are being helped. This allows not only the surrender of the soft food, but also of the identification with one’s self as being equal to the teacher or to anyone. It is essential to feel this independence without exhibiting bad manners. If it is not given, then it must be taken. It is the need for nourishment that causes us to begin to remove the blocks that exist between ourselves and other people and situations. When we grow as a teacher and give to other people, it is essential that the increased hunger and need for additional sustenance break down barriers inside that separate us from deeper levels of energy and love. Only the hungry person in a state of surrender, who is trying to reach their ultimate enlightenment, can gradually break down all fears and tensions and turn them into nourishment. When this process has become a pattern, the strength to absorb denser food and reduce it to lighter energy needed for growth, creates a strength within a human being that allows him to slowly open to a higher dimension. Then the power of his wish to surrender can radiate into the atmosphere. As it moves through the resistance of time and space, it can collect the necessary energy to form a new and creative situation. It is the beginning of gathering the treasures that exist in the atmosphere. What is crucial is the ability to feel the need and to project that need until it attracts what is necessary to achieve fulfillment. It is on the physical level that so much that we have attracted becomes lost. It is on the spiritual level that so much that we find consciously is forgotten. It is on this higher dimension of space and time that what was, and always is, becomes the reality of each moment. It is exceedingly difficult to survive the cycles of death and rebirth, because death is usually accompanied by the withdrawal of friends and situations that we count on to supply us with the nourishment of our ordinary life. The person who is undergoing death and rebirth, feels the change of energies within himself. He becomes irritable, and in no way attracts the vital connections that can support him in this transition. The energy entering the person during this change is trying to rise to another dimension, but he is incapable of seeing what is occurring. His awareness goes towards the death, which is obvious. It is like an egg that has been fertilized and is being transformed into a chicken. It is no longer useful as an egg, but until the chick emerges, it must be protected. The need to understand and deal with this enormous chemical and psychic change necessitates having as little energy going into tensions or illusions as possible. If the person undergoing such a change could consciously detach himself from everything nonessential, the process of death and rebirth would take place in a very short period of time. It is only when we understand that we cannot afford to fight or indulge in anything that is not giving us an actual return of nourishment, that we develop the sensitivity that will effectively bring us to the point of rebirth. I have been going through a very difficult time; somewhere between the beginning and end of such a cycle. The illusions that come to torment me are amazing. They approach in many forms. They dance and are provocative in what they suggest they have to offer. But if I reach for them, they disappear. They are promises based on illusions, and if I were to succumb to them, they would bleed my energy and in no way support the reality of the transition I am going through. It is only after surviving many experiences of this nature, that I can realize what is happening. I have a feverish feeling in my body. My mind is filled with ridiculous dreams that promise more than I have ever had before and try to blind me to the emptiness of what is offered. In a more tangible way, I can explain it as having the financing of a big business deal appear, to form and then dissolve before completion. Usually, I have a $10,000 or $20,000 day only a few times a year. Suddenly, three $40,000 sales, and many $5,000 and $10,000 sales take form and demand energy that a real situation could absorb, only to dissolve with no reward whatsoever. I have developed an attitude to take care of this situation. It is as if a beautiful actress approached me seductively and offered to take me on her yacht for a two month cruise in the Mediterranean. it would be laughable. Only the flattery that such a person could desire me could allow me to succumb to the stupidity of being involved in such drama. That I refuse to waste my energy on these seductive situations has allowed them to occur with greater frequency. I am now able to have a $500 day, while having lost a sale of $5,000 or more that failed to materialize. Or again, it is like having a bakery where you do $200 a day with your normal customers, while there is a queue from your door halfway around the block of forty-foot giants anxiously waiting to enter. It would be appalling if they came in and demanded to be served. It is only that they stand there pretending they are coming in, that makes it necessary to ignore them. It is a trick of the mind to present dramatic circumstances that we cannot afford and that we are not able to serve. These situations never fulfill themselves. Many people have lost their business trying to pursue something of an extraordinary nature that caused them to neglect their everyday responsibilities. It is the test of reality against the lure of illusion. If these situations had worked out at this point of my life, they would have absorbed the energy that was necessary to go into my rebirth. I am sure that if six months or a year from now these promises become realities, I will not become unsettled by the enormous change of life involved in the process. But for the moment, they are dangerous possibilities. If one is not prepared psychologically, then receiving such rewards becomes the expression of ego and not the growth of energy. I am deeply grateful to see and understand that these temptations are only preparation for me, so that when I do achieve more recognition and financial position I do not put my energy and ego into them. I am making the sacrifice for my spiritual growth. I understand that the rewards that are illusory now, will become actual later. An invisible war occurs during a death and rebirth process, for we are evacuating one level and going to another. As we die, space is created within us. It is the reality of leaving one kind of existence for another that provides the room that can then become filled with illusions. As matter changes from level to level, it always manifests. As it becomes refined, it rises to a higher plane, and, very much like heat rising, can produce the illusion of water. The refinement of energy rising shows the materialization, which we return to like a thief, claiming it as our own. We refuse to abandon the treasure we think exists on one level, for the unborn reality of another. death of millions It is exactly this situation that has brought about the of people during wars and in times of physical calamity, when they will not abandon their material world to go to a place of safety. They stay holding on to what they can touch, instead of surrendering it and being reborn in another land.

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